Do you struggle with a fear of being visible in your career or business?

This was definitely me. Torn between wanting people to know what I was up to and acknowledge and appreciate me. But then feeling vulnerable and very much out of my comfort zone after posting anything on social media, or when trying to sell my courses and services.

It wasn't even about self belief, because deep down I knew I had something I wanted to share that could help people. It was more about doubting anyone else would believe me, or worse, that they would judge me... and harshly! I felt this constant back and forth between wanting attention and running away from it.

Then I spoke with the amazing archetypal coach, wise teacher and general all-round lovely guy, Laurence Hillman, who described this inner conflict so exactly to me it was like someone had switched all the lights on, and I finally saw what was going on.

He told me: Dawn your struggle is about learning how to deal with the conflict of:

Why is nobody looking at me?
Why is everybody looking at me?

The challenge, he said, was to master that conflict and not retreat whenever things feel uncomfortable.

Does that sound familiar to you?

Are you struggling with the same situation in your business or career or job? Or even in relationships, if you're dating or trying to communicate more effectively with your partner?

The conflict - between knowing you have something to share, but worrying you might be judged negatively for it?

The answer, and something I have come to learn over the course of my business, is all about knowing that - as the famous quote by American journalist, Regina Brett, goes:

What other people think of you is none of your business.

And that means learning to do this one thing very well:

Detach yourself from the expected outcome of sharing your message

In essence, it's about knowing that what you want to share - your voice, your message - comes from a very real and true place that is uniquely you. It means trusting your intuition - that gut feeling - about what is right for you and what's not. It means detaching ourselves from the outcome of: will people like me, or like what I have to say?

The world needs more people being themselves without trying to filter themselves to appear 'better' - because when we're trying to make ourselves something we're not, that's just sending the message that we're not good enough as we are. We need to be fully ourselves - not dimmer versions and carbon copies of anyone else.

When you start detaching yourself from the expected outcome of your message, and just wholeheartedly share who you are in your business, career, relationship... a few things might happen.

1. You may lose people
   I remember posting a newsletter out to my mailing list and losing 20 subscribers in one evening - a lot for a small mailing list at the time. The old me might have felt hurt. Instead, I realised, what I was offering was just not for them. Nothing personal. You will lose people - but they're not your people.
   
   
2. You will attract new people, different people... your people
   By being brave about sharing your voice and message in your business, you're sharing a glimpse of your world. People who are receptive to your message will want to be a part of that world... welcome to your new people. They're here because they like what you have to say.
   
   
3. You'll feel liberated from the old way of doing things
   It's exhausting constantly trying to edit yourself to please an audience (or anyone) especially when, in the case of social media, they're largely invisible and unknown. You won't be rushing to check likes or new followers every time you post something. You won't be worrying about people who unsubscribe or unfollow. Yes, it's good to understand your analytics, but on a macro level, not a minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour level - there are people you can pay to do that. Your job is just to create, and that means from that core part of you that isn't afraid of judgement.
   
   

Does this all sound familiar to you? What's your own experience of being visible in your business. I'd love to hear from you. Share your comments on my Instagram.

Ready to let go of playing small and hiding your skills and talents for fear of criticism? Want to step into a bolder, more confident version of who you are? Check out my Ultimate Confidence and Self Belief Programme. Find out more.